Another Year Over....

Wow. And so 2019 is upon us.

I can't believe it. I can't believe that August 2016 is when this whole nightmare started. I can't believe that Christmas 2015 is the last Christmas that David and I spent together. And now here we are, entering 2019. It's like....time has gone by so freaking slow, but so freaking fast all at once. I just don't get it.

I feel like 2018 was the Year I Didn't Care. Like, honestly. Everything I did in 2018 was working toward the next time I would get to go down to Mexico to see David. I got to go down there in January, April, and July, so pretty much any time I wasn't in Mexico, I was working to save up money to go to Mexico. I wanted to go in October for our first wedding anniversary, but we both agreed that we should just focus on working and saving money and me actually taking care of stuff here in the States so that I can get down to Mexico for good ASAP!

So basically my year was working, traveling to Mexico, and not caring about much else, really. I spent time with my family and those friends closest to me, but other than that....my routine was pretty boring and consistent. Especially once the holidays rolled around, I was a big pile of "don't give a shit" to be honest. I didn't decorate barely at all. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, but this year I honestly....again, I just didn't care! I put a wreath on my door, and that was the extent of my decorations. I never once turned on 93.9 (the "Holiday Lite") in my car or wherever. I would listen to/enjoy Christmas music at work, sure. As far as shopping and preparing...me, my mom, and my brother all agreed not to exchange gifts. So thankfully, I had no stress as far as that went. Christmas was very low key with the three of us. And then it was over. And now it's almost New Years.

But as much as 2018 was my "Year I Just Don't Care"...2019 is going to be the year I turn it all around. Big things are happening, people! January is going to be quite the month, as I'm renting out my house starting in February, so I need to get anything and everything out of this house by the end of the month and then....I'm moving back in with my mom! Whaaaaaat. Yes, after a little over 12 years of not living with my parents....I'm moving back in with my mother. Sooo that should be interesting.

Not gonna lie, it's kind of awesome how the whole situation happened. So I was originally planning to sell my house just to cleanse my hands of it and not have to deal with it anymore. My roommate is moving out at the end of January and I had wanted to have it pretty much ready to sell by then. However, my financial situation hasn't exactly been "stable" since all this started happening two and a half years ago, and having a roommate has really helped me keep my head above water. Realizing I was going to lose that--and that my house was nowhere NEAR ready to sell--was kind of pressing on me.

But then this situation just sort of fell into my lap. A friend of ours was looking for a house to rent in the west burbs. I just so happened to have a house I was willing to rent out in the west burbs. We got in contact, went over some basic logistics, and BAM....decided I would rent my house to him!

And that was the first domino that set the whole rest of my plan into motion. I'm going to be out of here by February. I will have steady (modest) money coming in from the rent I am collecting. I will be living with my mom and therefore my financial burden will be lessened SIGNIFICANTLY and all the stress and anxiety and depression I have been experiencing over the last two years will hopefully finally start to decrease! At the same time, I will be able to save money and pay off my car and pay down debts and get everything in order to finally make the move to Mexico for "good"....whatever that should mean.

So basically my timeline is this: Get moved into my mom's house by the end of January. I will travel to Mexico February 2-12. I'll take down as much stuff as possible at that time. When I come back, continue to work and save money as much as possible. Maybe make another trip in April, taking down even more stuff. Possibly one of the cats, if David is receptive to that (lol). Come back for a couple more months, and then hopefully by June be ready to get down there for good!

Ideally I would like to be down there for 3-4 months, then come back for a couple months to work, rinse and repeat. But that's something that will be played by ear. I'm looking into a couple remote employment positions that I could take while I'm down there, earning USD, so we'll just have to see how those pan out.

All things considered, I'm incredibly optimistic for 2019. These past couple years, it's all been speculation and "I'm going to try for this" or whatever. But now I have a concrete plan. There's a light at the end of the tunnel and I can finally see the day when I'll be back with my love for good! I can't wait!!!

Christmastime is Here.....

And so another Christmas is upon us.

This will be my third Christmas without David here. It doesn't ever get any easier. I was looking at pictures from December of 2015 and I thought to myself...that was the last Christmas we were actually together here?! How can that be? I feel so robbed...my last three holiday seasons have been wasted, taken from me somehow...Christmas is my favorite time of year and I can't even get into it anymore. This year, I put a wreath on my door. That's it. That's the effort I put into my decorating. No tree, no lights, no decorations. They all remain in their boxes in the basement. The only time I listen to Christmas music is at work. My family and I aren't exchanging gifts because none of us have the time or the money, so we agreed just to not do it at all. It's going to be a low-key day at my mom's--just me, my mom, and my brother. And all that is okay with me.

I know that one day things will be different. Things will be back to normal. Not right away, of course. But at least next year at this time I will be down in Mexico to stay, so David and I once again will have birthdays/holidays/Christmas together, as it should be. And after that....once the visa is approved and the waivers are filed and THOSE are approved...he will be back here in the States where he BELONGS. With his wife...with his daughter....with his parents and his siblings and their families. We will eventually have kids of our own. And our Christmases will return to the happy, joyous, family-filled occasions they are supposed to be.

I cannot wait for that day...

Long Time, No See!

I'm so disappointed in myself. I haven't been keeping up this blog as well as I have wanted to. But that's okay. It's going to change in this new year coming up. Lots of things are changing and lots of progress is going to be made.

I sadly haven't been back to Mexico since my last trip (which I unfortunately didn't finish blogging about). David and I both made the decision that I wouldn't come back in October, even though I wanted to because it was our first wedding anniversary, because of financial reasons for the most part. I already had a wedding in Florida that I was traveling to for a long weekend, and although I had wanted to piggyback even just a few days in Mexico City onto that trip, I knew it wasn't realistic or smart financially. So no, I didn't go.

That leads us to here. Almost mid-December, and I haven't seen him in almost five months. This is the longest we've gone since this whole debacle started. I have no idea how I've made it. Not gonna lie, it's been a really, really tough stretch of time.

I just wanted to make this post as kind of an update post, like "I'm still here, we're still working on it" but I think in the next weeks coming up, I'm going to start getting a little more serious and in-depth about our story, about what exactly we've been through the past couple years, what we're expecting and looking forward to in the coming months....and then go from there.

Thanks for reading, those of you who do!