Hi Friends! So I haven't been keeping up with this blog as much as I had wanted since I returned from Mexico last month. After my last post, obviously things were getting to me and I was feeling pretty down for a while. I just have a lot on my plate right now, and I let it get to me. I'm honestly a little disappointed in myself, because I am not at all like that. Like I said before, I tend to roll with the punches no matter what. But everything was weighing so heavily on me and I was so overwhelmed that I just sort of "gave up" for a little while.
But I'm happy to say that I'm on my way back! Over the past few days I've gotten a few things accomplished that I've needed to (some little, some big). One of those included selling David's trailer. While it was pretty damn sad watching it drive away and knowing that I'll never see it in the back spot anymore, I was also proud that I was able to list it, show it, and negotiate the price all on my own, and in the end I was very happy with what we got for it. I'm also happy that I listed it on Friday, and it was gone by early this afternoon (Monday). Quick and painless indeed! And the money will help us out significantly right now. Couldn't have come at a better time. I'm glad I finally got my ass in gear and committed to selling it.
So along with a few other things that needed to be taken care of, I feel more accomplished than I have since I last returned from MX. And I have a little bit more clear of a plan of action. I need to talk to my boss, but I think my next trip will be July 1st through the 9th or 10th. David wants me there for my birthday (July 2nd) and we were kind of talking about having a party at the house, for my birthday, but also for the "4th of July" and have it America-themed. We think everyone down there would get a kick out of it because it's sort of a novelty, you know? So that's what I'd like to do. Plus, it's the week of the 4th, so since my job is closed on the 3rd and the 4th (and technically the 2nd because it's a Monday), I wouldn't actually have to miss that many days of work. If I'm gonna take time off, might as well take time I'd be off anyway!
But then once I return, I would pour all my resources into getting a second job (preferably at a breakfast place), saving up money, paying down my debts; and spend all of my free time working on getting stuff out of the house and the house ready to sell, because I don't think my next trip to Mexico then would be until October. I want to be with him for our first wedding anniversary, obviously (October 18th) and I would also like to piggyback the trip with a trip to Florida for the wedding of a very dear friend that I wouldn't miss for the world. So I would have all summer to work, save money, and focus on getting the house sold. Then hopefully I can get it sold quickly, move in with my mom for a little bit to save some extra money....and then by the end of the year or early 2019, I'll finally be ready to move down to Mexico long-term!
I plan to get my residency right away. I qualify to get my Residente Temporal because I am the spouse of a Mexican National, so I can come and go as I please. I figure I can always come up to the States to work for a few months at a time, since dollars will go so much further down there! After two years I can get my Residente Permanente if I wish, which of course I would. Eventually, especially if the process ends up taking longer than we anticipate, I would absolutely apply for dual citizenship.
So, we have a game plan in place. It could shift and change and adapt over the next however many months, but at the moment, this is kind of how it's looking. I'm happy with the plan; it's just going to be executing it that won't be easy. But I can do it. And I have to remember that I don't HAVE to do everything on my own. I have a lot of people willing to help me out--I just have to quit being too proud to ask.
Welp, there you have it! That's just about my life in a nutshell right now, haha. I've also been toying around with ideas on what direction to take this blog. Obviously, I would like to tell our story as we go. My entire goal when starting this blog was to put our story out there for others who may be going through the same thing. But lately I've been thinking about taking it further. Searching out resources and highlighting organizations that might be able to help, depending on the situation. Demonstrating some of the pluses and minuses and experiences of the American immigration system. Documenting my experiences as an American, married to a Mexican, in Mexico. Comparing the culture and way of life and everyday experiences of Mexico to America, as far as my personal observations. I'm at the stage where I'm past the anger at the whole situation and I can approach it much more rationally at this point, and while I'm still developing this blog into the best I hope it can be, I hope it can eventually be a valuable resource and tool and, of course, reassurance to others in my situation. So it's a work in progress, but hopefully much better things are to come!
Monday, May 21, 2018
Thursday, May 3, 2018
Our Old Life
It's finally starting to hit me.
Earlier this week I was going through the garage, sorting stuff, putting a bunch of things up for sale online. I'm starting to attempt to get as much stuff out of the house as I can in preparation to sell in the next couple of months.
And it's hitting me.
The life we had really is no more. And with every other thing that I pull out to sell or purge or throw away, it's just another blow. His bike in the garage, that will never ride down the trail with me again. The yard equipment he used to use to make our yard and everything look so nice, will never be used again. The Barbie Power Wheels he bought for his daughter will never travel down the front sidewalk another time. The box of leftover fireworks in the garage will go unused. The grill in our backyard will never be used by us on nice summer nights to grill burgers or steaks again. It's all going away. Everything out... and in the end, selling the house we lived in together, never to return.
It was a little easier up to this point because I hadn't really started going through anything, and I was more focused on working and trying to save money to go see him whenever I could. But now it's time to get serious about emptying the house to get it ready to sell, which is overwhelming in itself, but it's also making it real that he is not coming back to this, and that the beautiful life we had before will never be again. 😔
I think it was also a little easier because I was trying so hard to be optimistic about his case. From Day One, I was constantly convinced that we could get David released, or that his Visa would be approved quickly, and NEVER did I imagine that it would end up taking this long for his Visa, or that he would end up back in Mexico in the end anyway! So now I have had to adjust my mindset that this is going to be a much longer process...we will be filing for the CR1 (Spouse) Visa along with the waivers, but that that will end up taking at LEAST a couple more years. And it's an adjustment to say--okay, I thought it would be over by now, but since it's not, I have to face the reality that it could be a couple more years. And make my decisions going forward based on that mindset.
It's hard. I'm not gonna lie. I'm a very roll-with-the-punches type of person. I've pretty much always been able to take what life throws at me and just go with it and adjust accordingly. But this is getting to me. My life is about to change drastically. I'm abandoning pretty much all of our possessions--the business that my husband built from the ground up and everything he invested in--all the furniture we purchased together and the home that we built for the past five years. A year from now, this will all be a memory. I will have left my home country, the only country I have ever known, to move 2000 miles away to live in a completely foreign country. My life will be completely different, and nothing that I had ever imagined.
I just need to remember...I'm doing this for one reason, and one reason only. The man that I love. My soulmate. The love of my life. He is the only reason I haven't questioned or doubted any of my actions through this point. Because my end goal, no matter what, is to be reunited with him for good. Being together again will make all of this worth it. I think the toughest part for me right now is that he can't be here to help me deal with all of this. It's overwhelming and I have to do it all on my own. If it was just my stuff, I wouldn't care. If I lived in an apartment, it'd be so much easier. But we have years of things we've accumulated in a house that we share and again, all of the inventory he's built up for his business. And now I'm left alone to deal with it, and I'm not gonna lie, it just sucks.
Once everything's gone, once the home repairs are made, once the house is on the market and then sold, once I pack up the truck to head down to the border to make my move once and for all...I'm sure I'll be fine. The stress will be over and we can start the next chapter of our lives, our next adventure together, down in Mexico.
And I finally won't have to worry about saying goodbye to him after a week or two anymore.
And that will be SO WORTH IT.
Earlier this week I was going through the garage, sorting stuff, putting a bunch of things up for sale online. I'm starting to attempt to get as much stuff out of the house as I can in preparation to sell in the next couple of months.
And it's hitting me.
The life we had really is no more. And with every other thing that I pull out to sell or purge or throw away, it's just another blow. His bike in the garage, that will never ride down the trail with me again. The yard equipment he used to use to make our yard and everything look so nice, will never be used again. The Barbie Power Wheels he bought for his daughter will never travel down the front sidewalk another time. The box of leftover fireworks in the garage will go unused. The grill in our backyard will never be used by us on nice summer nights to grill burgers or steaks again. It's all going away. Everything out... and in the end, selling the house we lived in together, never to return.
It was a little easier up to this point because I hadn't really started going through anything, and I was more focused on working and trying to save money to go see him whenever I could. But now it's time to get serious about emptying the house to get it ready to sell, which is overwhelming in itself, but it's also making it real that he is not coming back to this, and that the beautiful life we had before will never be again. 😔
I think it was also a little easier because I was trying so hard to be optimistic about his case. From Day One, I was constantly convinced that we could get David released, or that his Visa would be approved quickly, and NEVER did I imagine that it would end up taking this long for his Visa, or that he would end up back in Mexico in the end anyway! So now I have had to adjust my mindset that this is going to be a much longer process...we will be filing for the CR1 (Spouse) Visa along with the waivers, but that that will end up taking at LEAST a couple more years. And it's an adjustment to say--okay, I thought it would be over by now, but since it's not, I have to face the reality that it could be a couple more years. And make my decisions going forward based on that mindset.
It's hard. I'm not gonna lie. I'm a very roll-with-the-punches type of person. I've pretty much always been able to take what life throws at me and just go with it and adjust accordingly. But this is getting to me. My life is about to change drastically. I'm abandoning pretty much all of our possessions--the business that my husband built from the ground up and everything he invested in--all the furniture we purchased together and the home that we built for the past five years. A year from now, this will all be a memory. I will have left my home country, the only country I have ever known, to move 2000 miles away to live in a completely foreign country. My life will be completely different, and nothing that I had ever imagined.
I just need to remember...I'm doing this for one reason, and one reason only. The man that I love. My soulmate. The love of my life. He is the only reason I haven't questioned or doubted any of my actions through this point. Because my end goal, no matter what, is to be reunited with him for good. Being together again will make all of this worth it. I think the toughest part for me right now is that he can't be here to help me deal with all of this. It's overwhelming and I have to do it all on my own. If it was just my stuff, I wouldn't care. If I lived in an apartment, it'd be so much easier. But we have years of things we've accumulated in a house that we share and again, all of the inventory he's built up for his business. And now I'm left alone to deal with it, and I'm not gonna lie, it just sucks.
Once everything's gone, once the home repairs are made, once the house is on the market and then sold, once I pack up the truck to head down to the border to make my move once and for all...I'm sure I'll be fine. The stress will be over and we can start the next chapter of our lives, our next adventure together, down in Mexico.
And I finally won't have to worry about saying goodbye to him after a week or two anymore.
And that will be SO WORTH IT.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)